used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
