I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
