I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
