bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
even my farts smell like vagina
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
