Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And then my night got REAL pukey
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize