If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
