Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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