Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
do nipples grow back?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
