yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You have to summon your inner elephant
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
