eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
