I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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