So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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