he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dicks are not precious.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize