we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
not ubering you a puppy
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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