Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
