My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
