THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
