He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
