she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Welp...herpes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
