I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize