DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
