Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
