Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there is glitter all over my balls
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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