...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
