Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
