I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you never un-have a 4some
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
