Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
