He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
