Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
