How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
