i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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