Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
