You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
