I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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