so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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