I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
