so explain again why im purple
no
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
