i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
