So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
