Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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