I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
