Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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