do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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