Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
