Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
