if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
