Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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