Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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