How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
