it was like eating out sand paper
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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