He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
