She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
