my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize