Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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