two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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