I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
