We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
