oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
