Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
tell your sister to shave her snatch
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
