you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
