It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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