last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
