the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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