it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
