I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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