i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
