wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
