Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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